Real or Unreal

a glance from my eyes
i saw u lingerin by the aisle

my heart skipped twice
and i was rid of all the vice

yet, u never did mean
to be seen

at that moment
i knew i was beaten

a sense of anguish
engulfed me, like water n the fish

fragile as it seems
our friendship is like a dream

all was seen like a crystal
n it felt like a shot from a pistol

i thought it was worth something
but, u make it felt like a fling

real or unreal
u reveal...

hMmm...wat do u tink of this...?kinda complicated i felt...hahas...

oooPs...realised i m kinda late in updatin...its been days since the eXams ended...well...the absence was bcoz i've been busy releasin all the frustrations i had accumulated durin the exams period...lols...

seems like its gona be a short hols for mi...gotta go into overdrive again...bet tis hols is gona be diff fr the previous sems...i wun hav much time to go enJoy myself...other den settLin sTuff for IC...hope things run smoothly...! =)

short entry todae...hav been getttin numb recently...kinda becomin a 'dead' person...no feelins nor emotions...haahas...not tt eMO animore...might be a gd sign...

i hope...

>>>LinGerinG sOuL...<<<

yoohoo...once again...i'm here to complain bout the exams...hahas...hav been doin tt ever since i set up tis blog...

its 3am...n i've gotta nothin better to do...though i shuld be studyin...but heck ba...aim to complete my app. micro tml...5 more days to the first paper...feel kinda numb towards exams le...but dere will always be complaints...aniwae...i hope all of my JC frens pass their As wif flyin colours...esp ppl fr TauHuay...the most impt bunch of ppl in my life...and my e7 mates...hope u guys do well...

words to my dearest frens:

chanz---hope u reali excel...can see u workin hard...bet u can make it...u always do... =)

lik---nothin much to say to u since u r the brightest eh...vj dude...wahahas...aniwae...bless u wif A grades...

sher---enjoy ur life in ns man...soon it will be over and its time for ya to go aust again...take cAre...!

elroy---big guy...bless u wif all the inspiration in the world for all ur projects...may u become an established interior designer...!!

andy---LAODA...!dun feel dismay...we r always dere for u...work hard and i m sure u can make it...!!

kElvin(beng)---aiya u...duno wat to say...hahas...WORK hard...in both studies and ur job...

matt---study hard now...and we will play harder when the exams r over!!

kS---bet u r gona become a great artist...n i will be ur most loyal fan!!hahahs...

travis---huat arH...!!no problems in rp eh?hahas top student in class...gettin all the babes...hope u strive even better...!!

doug---yooo...swimmin craze...lifeguard...swimmer...sailor...wat more can u be...?hahas...balance study wif all ur stuff bro...gD luCK..!!

mEi---long time no see le...aniwae..hope u hav fantastic grades for ya As...and meet up after tt...!!

leen---twin sis...betcha in a lovey dovey mood...ahahs...jiayou for ur As...n oso gd luck in ur love life...!!

Shin---its been aeons since i last saw u...hope u doin fine...hahas...guess u hav no prob wif ya As...gD luck..!!

jL---SAj da jie...!!hahas...chiong for As and we can all go club like dere's no tml!!!hehes..

realised that i seem to be writin some farewell letter...wahahhas...dun get the wrong idea...i m NOT gona commit suicide after this post...hehes...a REQUEST to all...pls ask mi out to STUDY...!!!cant study at home...n i need a study partner...lols...well...dere r still many out dere tt i wish to write...but...my eyelids are so so heavy now...gotta catch some slp...niTes...! =)

had a cool day wich jus ended...had a rare encounter in the mornin that started the day goin....its one of those little things that spice up ur life...hahahs...shadnt tok more on tt...aniwae..went town n coincidentally watched Click wif CLS seniors xueting, marlon tzehao nasir and many and also xiaobai in the same theatre...hahas...

its 9th of Aug already...hAppY 41sT bIrtHdAy sinGApoRE...!!!nothin much to say...reali shag...goin sentosa tml!!!the Sun, the sand and the babes!

>>>lIfe's fuLl Of sUrprIseS...<<<

haiz....cant seem to slp b4 2 nowadays...guess its my body clock...nothin to do thus came here to blog...brain cells are still freakin active...>.<

well...jus finished 2 bks i borrowed fr the lib...both were damn nice...a long long time since i had the luck of borrowin 2 bks and both turned out to be fantastic read....titles are "Crippen : A Novel of Murder" and "Cell"

Cell din turn out to be as nice as Crippen but its very hookin nonetheless...its written by none other den Stephen King himself...fruitful plot and far fEtched storyline...whahas...kinda sci fict for tis book...the Cell here refers to handphones...not jail or anytin of that sort...BUT...the only turn off point is...THE BOOK GOT NO ENDIN...!!!n its not like it got a sequel..>.<...haiz...gotta go imagine the endin urself...boooo...

Crippen...the better bk of the 2...story revolves ard a docter wannabe who is kinda cold blooded...well...he actually enjoyed cuttin up any thing...fr a piece of chicken chop to a whole cow itself...hahas...pls dun get the wrong idea...the bk aint jus bout cuttin ppl...skillfully, the author, John Boyne(one of my fav)instilled a peculiar love story between all the gory scenes...n the twist in the story is remarkable...u NEVER get to guess hu's the murderer till the very end...i was totally glued to tis bk on sundae...jus cant take my eyes off it the whole day...hhaas...

tts the reviews of the 2 books...let me share a little fact bout novels...fiction never stray too far from love...be it parental's love, owner's love, lover's love and many other types of love...its smt that canot be measured and yet it has such immense persuasion power in novels...

eXams ARe comin...gd luck to all my frens...and we can all hav fun after tt...Interaction Camp, Ultimate Frisbee, Sports League and many more...!!! all waitin for mi...hahhas...gona be hard work...but its worth it...=))

>>>hEAd seeks...heaRt yeARns...sPirit cRAves... <<<

gees...jus finished watching bleach 91...and i tink i m obsEssed with it...doubt i ever mentioned here that i love bleach...hahas...

well...lazy to reali write an organised para...guess its another random entry...but tis time...its jus gona be about BLEAch...so its random BLEACH ENTRY for todae...=)

ichigo...nova...shikai...bankai...tenza zangetsu...renji...zabimaru...bounto...doll...haneikou...wabisuke...hollow...soul society...shinigami...soukyoku...aizen...ichimaru...soi fon...quincy...ishida...kotowari...zaraki...reiatsu...
Zanpakutou...
ryuujinjakka...
hitsugaya...

guess i shall stop...hahahs...well...for all bleach fans, brace yourself for the battle between bounto and shinigami in soul society in bleach 92...!! =)

>>>comBined wiTh a perSeCution cOmpleX n dEluSions oF gRandEur<<<

i reali had to post tis...my fren fr VJ had jus conducted an experiment about consuming alcohols...for those interested can click here to see his post dated 24th July, 2006. dere shows his recordings from the results of his experiment...i strongly urge u guys to read it...be it u r or u r not a drinker...=)

Nature's love, my love
By Alven

Beautiful yet shortlived, the sunset
Vast yet unpredictable, the sea
Alluring yet precarious, the night
Grand yet impassable, the mountains

Once there, and now nothin's left
Instead of accepting, I chose to flee
Desires within, never did die
Like a demon that can't be tame

Blossoming flowers, spring
Scorching sun, summer
Falling leaves, autumn
Frozen lands, winter

Blissful days deemed as dreams
Affections gently grew eager
Hurtful words left the heart broken
Memories like this are forever

inspired during the GEMs class...thus the birth of this poem...u gotta spot the structure of this poem yourself...seems to be broken all over...but there is indeed a structure...enjoy...! =)

i jus dUN gEt it...i keep ponderin and ponderin...

jus came bac fr my family dinner...celebrated my granny's bdae...and it wasnt a happy one...well...at least not for mi...got LOADS of comments on my hairdo...fr my aunts and granny...well...that wasnt so bad...at least i m kinda used to it...BUT it was all my younger cousins that reali pissed mi off...

tinkin bac of the past when i used to take such gd care of them..and now they are of adolescent stage...they totally have NO respect...i m not being childish here to flare my temper at their imaturity...its the way they treat people...certain things aint convenient for mi to say here as it is my aunt's family problems...but the way they deal with the issue is intolerable...they dint
consider bout other people's feelings when they say some things...

haiz...now...i felt like i cant find anyone in my HUGE family to relate to...it jus so happened that my sisters and i are the only ones that belong to the 17 to 21 age group...the rest of my cousins are either too old or too young...after just now...i kinda dread goin to my family gatherings again...

but i still love my family...despite the fact that i dun get to meet them regularly...but i still love them..after all...we hav the same blood runnin in our veins...

another issue that has been botherin mi...i come to realise tt its true that people judge a person by his or her appearance...wats wrong wif spiky and coloured hair...?y is it that you people must stereotype people wif such appearances to be gangsters or the so call 'ah bengs'?

i noe i m not one...and i noe of many other people hu sports such hairstyles and they aint one either...cant we go by the sayin, 'do not judge a book by its cover'...??i m so sick and tired of ppl sayin i m one...it jus the way i like my hair to be...keep the comments to urself and get over with it...

wHoa....seems like i m reali pissed after readin wat i have written...aniwae i feel much better already...and people...i AM reali NOT pessimistic...hahas...its just that...i dun blog about happy incidents...tHAts all...=)

>>>sO neaR, yEt so fAr...<<<

okok...here to get rid of the 'DUST'...its like only 1wk ago since i posted...aint tt long...>.<

were dere anytime when u deem urself as a fool?bet u hav that experience b4...hav been seein myself as a fool recently... in studies, club or friends...i seem to be like a fool...duno y...cant seem to accomplish any task...n it doesnt feel gd...

another reason might be because of my inability to come out with a poem...i've lost my inspiration...or perhaps...its just that i've got nothin' to base my poems on...no concept, no inspiration, no words...

tired...lotsa tests on their way...still haven spend any effort in tryin to understan biostats...osrm...applied micro....seems like i'm still a long way from gettin prepared for the exams...ARGh...

guess i gotta take a break fr the wkend outings, Tuesday club outings and all the movies...time to save $$... save time... and save MYSELf...!!!

>>>a ParT oF mE stiLL craves foR it...<<<

ur passion never forsaken you...as long as you still possess the resolute to do smt that you reali like, you will never be shunned...

this was smt that i learnt thru playin bball...reali enjoyed myself in this sport...its not jus a sport to mi...it meant much much more...its where i can find strength in myself, indulge myself, gain confidence and much much more...

it can distract mi from my other troubles...allow me to take a break from the harsh reality...

sweatin out in bball court playin the game gave mi so much joy...i've had so much memories playin basketball...i had spent so much effort in becomin a better player...its all worth it...felt very letdown to my sp teammates...since the day i decided to choose cls over sp bball, i knew i'm gona ponder over this decision over and over again...guess i saw it comin...nonetheless, its a decision that i had to make...

the many balls that went through the hoop, the many asissts that i dished out, the many blocks that i've made, the many fastbreaks that i've ran, the many steals that i've got, the many turnovers that i had made and the many other things i had done on the court shaped the current me....

>>>mIss tHose DayS...<<

ITALY...won...FRANCE...lost...zidane scored...materazzi scored...zidane headbutted materazzi...wat irony...a row that involved the 2 scorers...toni send the italians into a state of euphoria by sendin in the ball pass barthez...earnin their well-deserved 4th stars on their jersey...the italians reali played well...comin bac into the game after 1-0 down...their very first win in world cup's penalty shootouts...and it got them the most prized possession...

well...guess its another 4years before the guys can go crazy again bout the world cup...=)

fooD bAzAar... pOly 5o... mY riGht knEe... fOr CLS club.... fOr yOu i WiLL.... LeaVe mE aloNe.... pLs tReaT mE liKe a StRanGEr..... fAiLin biOstAtistIcs..... tOning & gYmmIn.... woRld cUp..... i LOve TauHuay..... i nEEd mOre tIme.... nEw LooK.... nEw pERspeCtive... mY paSsion.... sPend mOre tIme wiTh mY famiLy.... toYota VioS......... wIsh sIs suCcesS wIth hEr New Job..... EaRN mOre moNEy.... bE mOre COmmITted..... to hELL wiTh lOve.... bE mOre KnoWledGeble... DBT 2A03 GUys rOx.... gf bf ff...... gibberish........
surreal woRLd.... wIsh sHer a GreaT tiMe iN NS.... lIve LifE to tHE fULLest...

random random random......seems like the way i cHoose to LivE Life wiTH freeDOm...random random random


>>>LeaRNt...and uNderSTood...<<<

JusT mY LuCK...

its been a long long time since i caught such a nice show...might be a little far-fetched...but nothin's wrong with watchin a ridiculous show once in a blue moon...it has an excellent storyline and is filled with funny scenes that u jus cant get enough of...

is it true that u need luck to find the ger or boy of ur dreams...?the one that u yearn for day and nite...is luck an important factor...?the luck of doin the right thing at the right time...?the luck of meetin him or her in the most appropriate places...?is luck the same as fate...?i m not superstitious in nature...but if luck reali plays a huge part in crossin people's fate...how i wish i can hav more of it...

"Why do I need all the luck in the world? I've got you..." (Jake to Ashley)

cool line...like it very much...

>>>wiLlin tO saCriFice aLL of mY luck iN exChange foR yoU...<<<

dRunk...

reali drunk...guess i went beyond my limits last nite at sher hse...duno y i din stop myself...guess i just can't help it...

bac to the old days...where i party out till i die...never goin home...getttin my priorties mixed up...doin stupid stuff...gees...tot i had strayed off that life...but it jus came bac...the urge to be the bad old person...tot its gone...but its never gone...its actualli hidden...hidden for a long long time...deep down in mi...

m i a bad apple...??looks so delicious and juicy on the outside and yet rotten to core in the inside?mayb...mayb i m jus a rotten person...hav always been searchin...searchin myself...searchin for the bad bones, bad genes, bad thoughts and all the other bad stuff...can i ever change for the better....?

hu cARes...i m jus a roTTen appLe...and nobody eats a rotten apple...

>>>feLt the ChanGe...loVin iT...<<<

this few days hav been quite an uncomfortable and dreadful period...mainly becos i LOST my voice after the nonBUdget event...i canot express myself thru talkin...tt sucks...and as if tts not bad enuff...flu n slight fever starts to kick in as well...haiz...wat can be worse!?

well...tts all the bad stuff...at least i TRIED to enjoy myself durin tis period...went DXO...wasnt fantastic...but at least i let off some steam...by dancin...had only one shot of Bourbon...though i told myself not to drink becos of my terrible throat...still...i jus cant resist my fav drink in the club...another plus point is the staRT OF THE WORLD CUP!!!yay...i reali hope tis world cup can bring all my troubles far far away...as they always say...world cup tends to bring the guys' attention away from gals...its been 5days since the kickoff of the first match...and i can proudly say that i hav watched all the matches(well..i did doze off at times...hehes)

now for some serious issues...my buddy jus lost 2 of his family members in period of 1 week...can reali see he is quite affected by it...attended his grandpa's wake...had been reali hard on him tis past wk...goin over to the wake everyday to pray and all the other stuff revolvin around him...hope he can get over it soon...

gettin over certain things seem to be a hard task...and the culprit...memories...its something that would stay...and never be erase...the harder u try...the more difficult its gona get...guess its inevitable for everyone to go through this stage...its jus parts and parcels of life...

life is short...live it well and never regret...!

>>>iT juS keepS cominG...<<<

The story of a boy who tripped and fell in love....

It started when a girl said, " He must be able to make me laugh." That was her answer to the question, 'What qualities must your spouse possessed?' It was this out of its kind answer that made him noticed her.

Gradually, he found himself falling in love with her. He often asked himself what was it that made him go head over heels for her. Was it her charming eyes? Her graceful gestures? Her candid blur look? Or was it the way her lips curled when she pout?

He could not find the answer. Bet he will never know.

Words and poems played a huge part in expressing his feelings for her. Rain and cloud have everlasting love was her name. All clover heavens was what he felt towards her.

He really enjoyed the time spent with her. He never regretted doing all that he had done. For him, it was all worth it.

In his eyes, she was such a special girl. Only the worthy one can have her heart. He was just not the one for her.

He would be lying if he said he was not sad. The truth hurts. But he promised to move on and forget. It is a test for him and time will tell. As the saying goes, time heals all wounds.

He is happy as long as she has found her own happiness...

This entry is dedicated to you...hope this post doesnt seem sad...be assured that all is fine....hahas...i aint a stubborn guy who will try to do things against other ppl's will...i respect ur decision...and of coz...we r still frens no matter wat...hahas...tts all for now...! =)

YOohOo...hellos to anyone readin this...(if there is even any... =P)

aniwae...its been a long since i wrote a decent blog entry...its been poems, songs and all that stuff...even received a complain fr likky...(see the tag...) well...since i got into LOVE, SEX AND POLITICS IN FICTION, MUSIC AND POETRY as my GEMs module...u can't reali Blame it ON mi rite...? =P

seriously...i duno wat to blog about...too many things to write if i were to mention every single stuff...hmmm...guess i will adopt mY evil TWin's way of Bloggin...jus write down random lines...hehes...seems easier...!

i shall write down 10 thoughts that i had todae...(its in chronological order...)

1) WOW....!(it was reali a 'wow' thing)

2) ok...this question is tricky... A or C??

3) YAY...its over...one more to go tml...

4) GEM Lady!!! u r such a *****

5) pLs caLL mi Asap Dr CHIAM...!!

6) Thank you Dr chiam and fairuiz for settlin the GEM issue for mi...

7) ARgh....shuld i sms u...?

8) sO much thinGS tO seTtle...

9) Man....y did u hav to go offline so soon...?! =(

10) tired...ZZzZZzzz

tHAts all FOLks...!gottA get some slp...gd nite...~

>>>jUs cAn't geT enOuGh of yoU...<<<

If i let you go
by Westlife

day after day
time pass away
and I just can't get you off my mind
nobody knows I hide it inside
I keep on searching but i can't find
the courage to show to letting you know
I've never felt so much love before
and once again I'm thinkin' about
takin' the easy way out

but if I let you go
I will never know
what my life would be
holding you close to me
will I ever see
you smiling back at me
oh yeah how will I know
if I let you go

night after night
I hear myself say
why can't this feeling just fade away
there's no one like you
you speak to my heart
it's such a shame we're worlds apart
I'm too shy to ask
I'm too proud to lose
but sooner or later
I've gotta choose
and once again I'm thinkin' about
taking the easy way out

but if I let you go
I will never know
what my life would be holding you close to me
will I ever see
you smiling back at me
oh yeah how will I know
if I let you go

if I let you go, oh baby

oooh once again I'm thinkin' about
takin' the easy way out
but if I let you go
I will never know
what my life would be holding you close to me (close to me)
will I ever see
you smiling back at me oh yeah
how will I know
if I let you go

but if I let you go
I will never know (oh baby)
will I ever see
you smiling back at me oh yeah
How will I know (how will i know)
if I let you go

old song...but a very nice one indeed...kinda expressin my situation?aniwae...so little time to do loads of stuff....gotta squeeze out time to relax myself...haiZ....got a feelin i will jus faint one fine day in sch...but still gotta keep myself upbeat!goGOgO...!!

>>>AlL cloVEr heaveNs...<<

loving someone isn't a complicated task
but you make it so hard that i always have doubts to ask

its been so long, but i am still stuck
hoping that i might still have that little bit of luck

i've got no directions
so i need some assurance...

don't be afraid to be blunt
cause i know i won't be stun

i do not know how long i can bear all this
i just pray all the troubles can be ceased

something is pulling me away
i wish my conviction won't sway

my world seems to be smaller now
and time is devouring me like a fowl

the stars in my night sky never seem to be shining
but i thought i saw one flickering

its beaming with hope
would i have the courage to reach for it...?

that remains a mystery...even to myself...

>>>on my mind...but in my heart...?<<<