If i let you go
by Westlife

day after day
time pass away
and I just can't get you off my mind
nobody knows I hide it inside
I keep on searching but i can't find
the courage to show to letting you know
I've never felt so much love before
and once again I'm thinkin' about
takin' the easy way out

but if I let you go
I will never know
what my life would be
holding you close to me
will I ever see
you smiling back at me
oh yeah how will I know
if I let you go

night after night
I hear myself say
why can't this feeling just fade away
there's no one like you
you speak to my heart
it's such a shame we're worlds apart
I'm too shy to ask
I'm too proud to lose
but sooner or later
I've gotta choose
and once again I'm thinkin' about
taking the easy way out

but if I let you go
I will never know
what my life would be holding you close to me
will I ever see
you smiling back at me
oh yeah how will I know
if I let you go

if I let you go, oh baby

oooh once again I'm thinkin' about
takin' the easy way out
but if I let you go
I will never know
what my life would be holding you close to me (close to me)
will I ever see
you smiling back at me oh yeah
how will I know
if I let you go

but if I let you go
I will never know (oh baby)
will I ever see
you smiling back at me oh yeah
How will I know (how will i know)
if I let you go

old song...but a very nice one indeed...kinda expressin my situation?aniwae...so little time to do loads of stuff....gotta squeeze out time to relax myself...haiZ....got a feelin i will jus faint one fine day in sch...but still gotta keep myself upbeat!goGOgO...!!

>>>AlL cloVEr heaveNs...<<

loving someone isn't a complicated task
but you make it so hard that i always have doubts to ask

its been so long, but i am still stuck
hoping that i might still have that little bit of luck

i've got no directions
so i need some assurance...

don't be afraid to be blunt
cause i know i won't be stun

i do not know how long i can bear all this
i just pray all the troubles can be ceased

something is pulling me away
i wish my conviction won't sway

my world seems to be smaller now
and time is devouring me like a fowl

the stars in my night sky never seem to be shining
but i thought i saw one flickering

its beaming with hope
would i have the courage to reach for it...?

that remains a mystery...even to myself...

>>>on my mind...but in my heart...?<<<

i gotta blog tis shit man...its not often when u get locked in ur own hse n you can't go for sch... >.<

yeap...tts the situation i m in right now...n tt explains y i m at home bloggin about tis n not in sch doin my OSRM praC...!!!

woke up tinkin its a nice n beautiful day...but in no more den an hour...it changed...drastically...

well...couldnt find my keys jus when i m tinkin of gettin out of the hse...n no one is at home other den mi...n the funny thing is we got no extra set of keys cos i m already usin the extra set...n its missin nonetheless...so i m stuck at home...called everyone to check...n eventually i found out tt its wif my sis...n she is at work...isnt convenient for her to come bac home to pass mi the keys...so i m stuck at home bloggin...well...her bf gona pass the keys to mi later...still i m gona miss mrs tan's lessons...called her to explain...gotta go for a make up tml mornin...>.<

haiz...this is jus life....freak incidents(can tis be regarded as one...?) like tis one happens...well...guess i jus hav to see it from another optimistic point of view...maybe i might meet wif a fatal accident if i were to go sch as usual todae... =P we never noe...

gotta catch sum slp now...din slp much last nite...since i m at home might as well make gd use of it...=P

>>>LiFe iS so unPredictAble...juS liKe yoU...<<<

jus wana crap now...maybe the following post might make sense to some...or it might not...hu cares...its my blog...=P

18 years, 3 months had passed since the moment i arrived in this peculiar world...i have changed from a cute toddler to a grown man...was wondering to myself...what have i learnt in my life...??

i tried to recall and recollect...images and visions just ran through the back of my head...i got to say...i hav learnt all the knowledge the hard way...be it academic or just simple common sense in everyday life...i learnt it the hard way...nothing in the world is free...tts the one thing that i learnt in my life..

i can't say that i am a good guy...cause i know in some ways i am not...but i m not entirely bad as well...but tts for other people to decide...not me...just hope that ppl i encountered in my life can remember me as the cheerful guy who never seem to show a sad face...

sometimes in life...inevitably u will come to a crossroad ...

u might be walkin smoothly on a path...a path where u thought its going to lead you to a paradise...but at the end of it...its never like what u expected...or frequently...certain things might cause u to stray off the path u were originally walking on...and u ended up walking a path so strange to u...

its not often that i write such stuff...duno y i jus hav tt impulse to write sumting like tt todae...bet its all the stupid emotions...HAIZ...~

>>>you...wAT mOre cAn i aSk fROm yOu...<<

haven posted much for a long time...hav been very busy wif work at juice station and cls events...jus got bac fr ballin...suppose to be workin later...but janice told mi to change shift wif elroy knowin tt i jus had an event in sch ystd...and i willl be workin tml too...

well...tt means i can take a break for the day...but...wat if she will be dere...? arGH...so so confused now...lotsa stufff had happened the past few weeks...i aint sure of my directions now...haiz...doesnt wana tink so much...aniwae...here's my most recent work... aint tt good by any standards but still...it says out wat i wan to say... =))

Whether a sunny or rainy day,
he is always at the cafe drinking his La'tae...
Always at that comfortable cornor,
where he yearn for his love like a nerd...

Loving couples passed by him all day long,
distracting his thoughts about his Rachel Chong...
That's the girl whom he misses very much,
very very very much...

His wandering heart fled to the other side of the city,
where he wishes to see the face he loves like crazy...
And pour out all his thoughts to her,
hoping that would bring them even closer...

His life is black and white wihout her presence.
All he ever wanted was for her to be present,
by his side, sharing the woes and joy of life,
without any sorrow or lies...

WOOhooo....i M BACK fr m'SIA...but leavin for camp tml mornin.... >.<

aniwae...lotsa stuff happened at msia...cant reali rmb all...well....came bac injured...but it was a spectacular injury...shall not say more...wahahhas....i m humble... =P

din come bac in one piece as i promised...sorry bout tt...well...i reali did miss u when i was in msIa...hahas...n u still dun wana tell mi ur ans.... =P

better catch some slp now...doubt i will be slpin much durin the camp...well...tts all for now...tata~

>>>u Are mY FaVouriTe heLLo and mY hARdesT gooDbYe...<<<

hEYs...yea...i m still up this early in the mornin...jus got home after a long long day out...a very happy day though it wasnt very perfect...=P

aniwae...went to caTch bIg mOmmA hSe 2...reali hilarious...a comedy that displays the importance of havin a family...parental love is so so important to the children...(read Dr Spock's book on children care...hehes)...

meet up wif elroy, chanz n co in town after that...was surprised to see leen n mei...asked us if we wanted to go DXO...den i got christine n alyssa askin us to go Zouk...>.<

>>>fAilurE leaDs tO gReater hEigHt...<<<

sLeep...tts the ting on my mind since the start of the hols....

Had been so so SO buSy...wid FOC, Day Tour n bball...trials here n dere....meetin here n dere...geEs...realised i had spent so much time on cLs club tis hols...reali enJoyed it though...

juS came bac fROm the dinner wif my day tour GLs...had a good day for the first game trial for my GLs...we did good...!!spent a hell load of time playin frequency game at Kobayashi...lols...!!

i m reali tired...since i only had 2 hrs of slp for the day...came bac home ard 630am from one fullerton last nite...had fun at babyface...n still gotta rush to sch for the day tour game trial...SHAgGed...~

at least...i m still able to find time to go out on thurs...!!guess its my only chance...since i will be leavin for m'sia on 24th march n FOC will be straight up after tt...reali hope to hav smt good out of it...its been a long time since i last saw u....reali lookin forward to tHurs...! =)

>>>aBsenCe maKes tHe heArt fOnDer...<<<

wooohooo....bothersome exams r finalii oVER...dun wana tink bout my nxt sem...not a gd thing to ponder on...aniwae...got tis load of my shoulders now...guess its time for other stuff....bball...tis...and that...so tired now...guess i m off to slp...playin ball at nite...

And when the angels sing,
I wan u by my side
I dun care how long i've been waitin for you...
And when the angels breathe,
You're bac here in my life
Then..I noe its true that I love u...

vEry nice song...

>>>cAn't keep u ouT of mY heaD...<<<

bOozEd...

jus came bac froM sher hsE...had a cRAzy niTe...so tired now...but still gotta dota...promised them...=P aniwae...last nite we had a hella of our time...

went to ah soo to play ball...had an bad encounter wif some guys...well they are jus so f***ed up...arrogant bastarDs...lost to us aniwae...and still wana pick a fight...no respect for them...they can jus KMA...!!!

after that we went to 7-11 to get a bottle of absolute vodka...was really determined to get myself drunk that nite...dun ask mi y...so...we got to sher hse ard midnite...played his guitar for awhile after all of us showered and sher was teachin doug how to pluck strings for 'Love me'...frickin' nice song...sher was reali gd at it...elroy was slackin somewhere...chanz came ard 1...den we started on the absolute...big guy elroy can't take the dry absolute...too strong for him i guess....den he started mixin wif other soft drinks...wasnt that bad...hahash...

started the finger guessin game...jus the 4 of us...sher gotta work the nxt day...can't chiong wif us...so he went piGgin in his bed...hahas...the game was a blur...cos i guess all of us were kinda high from all the drinkin...overall....doug drank the most shots...he got all the concentrated ones...ahahahs...concocted by me and chanz...hehehes...the bottle was emptied sooner den i expected...wasnt drunk...jus groggy...hahass...and chanz got a taste of his own medicine when he lost the last gAme...the shot was the most concentrated...quite a large shot too...hahas...all of us jus drifted of to slp after that...

loads happened the nxt day...but no time to blog...gotta rush...!!slpin early todae...ballin tml mornin...vow to get a nice dunk tml...!!!!! peaCe oUt...

>>>Even the nights are better...Since I found you<<<

tHKs to all of u guys who hav been smsin bdAe gReetings to Mi whole daY long...i reaLLi apPreciate THem...hope My wiShEs wIll all cOme tRUe...!! :p approX. 10 mins to the end of my bdae...gotta enjoy it whilst it last...!!hahas...haPPy bDAe to alL the 19 FEB babIes ouT dere...!!

yoz...i m bloggin wif sher sittin beside mi pinchin my thigh...sounds gay...but aniwae...life's in a mess rite now wif the bothersome exams jus round the corner...lazy to say animore...duno if we r still goin to eat prata later...i m tired though..n chanz is slpin behind us...>.<

>>>wiTh YoU. i FouNd pEACE And traQuiliTy iN mY liFe...<<<

Shadows roam the path I seek for love
I've yet to embrace the light at the end of it
Doubts are running all over my mind
But I ain't rushing...

I'm willing to do all that I can
To make you the happiest person in this world
I'll take you in my arms
And bring all your miseries to an end...

If ever you question my love for you
Be assured that you will receive nothing less than my whole-hearted love
I just want you to know
That I'll always be there for you...

>>>Will there ever be a place for me in your heart...?
I don't know but I believe...<<<

so long since i blogged...guess its becos i hav been feelin very upbeat the past week...no down feelins to blog about...so this entry will be a happy one...!

duno where i shuld start...eh...caught geisha on tues...reali enjoyed the movie...and had loads of fun on that day...was my lunar bdae for mi too..!!hahas...had a great time n hope to have more of such trips in the future... =D

well...guess i will comment more about the movie...watchin the show is just like takin a peek into the world of the women...wif all the jealousy and backstabbin goin ard...the show reali let mi realised how small a geisha's world is...no control over their life, no freedom and worse of all, they can't love...a world where u can't love someone just sucks...chiyo suffered a great deal coz she couldnt express her feelings to the one she loved...pitied chiyo and her struggles to reach the man she loved...guess many of us experienced such situation before...

lots of nice phrases were said in the show...can't reali rmb all but i reali liked this one, " The girl with eyes like the colours of rain." Chiyo possessed a pair of beautiful blue eyes that were described as the colours of rain...very enchanting indeed...hahas~

guess i will leave out the cny part...too much to tok about...hahas...aniwae lookin forward for sherwyn's return fr aust...!!!! sundaY nite!!!

>>>tHe fEeLin jUs getS stronGer eaCH tiMe i tRy to suPPress iT...<<

ARgh...caught a flu...den coughin like mad now...sucky...never like the feelin of havin a blocked nose and bad cough at the same time...makes one feel breathless all the time...hate it...

guess it is inevitable...with all the weird weather goin on ard...El Nino comin??no idea...and all the sch work..!!!!haiz...so hard to take a break from all this shit...

still...i m able to find some peace and joy talkin to you...so glad that i hav you ard me...

>>>tHe rAin haS sToPped...thAt's waT i aM feeLiNg rITe nOw...<<<

had a tirin wkend...YAWns....~

jus came bac fr bugis wif andy and elroy...went shoppin...bought new bags and a couple of T-shirts...had a hard time walkin with so many ppl in bugis street...same wif parco...out since sat....went to play ball on sat nite...nothin much...had a few good games...jumped like cRAzy...went bac to andy hse after tt...and 8 hrs later(sundae mornin..) we were bac at the court to play...yea...so crazy rite??and i only slpt for like 4 hrs??even less for andy...duno wat the hell he was doin wif the pail... :P

haiz...feels so weird the whole day...wasnt myself...maybe it's the fatigue...or maybe it's not...?? something's buggin me...felt so empty inside me...arGH....hate this kinda feelin...found myself starin into the blank spaces the whole day...i needa get RiD of this feelin....haiz...guess i shld stop now...feels so wasted ...hope tis feelin will be gone when i wake up tml...

>>>iN neeD oF A heALing tOuch frOm mY aNgEL<<<

Waiting for so long,
my hopes were almost gone.
Seeking for the only one,
who will light up the sky in my dorm.

With a heart so vacant,
i yearn for her love so warm.
She came when i least expected it,
i knew i'm going to fall into this bottomless pit

Was afraid to make the first move,
but i knew she is someone i can't lose
Took my chances and did my part,
all that i wish for is to move her heart.

Sincerity is my greatest tool,
others may deem me as a fool.
But i don't care what they think,
all i want is to be with her through thick and thin.

eNjoy...! =D

WIsh Linda & Zhihong eVerLastin MArriaGE bleSS wif LOtsa KiDS...!

jus attended cousin linda's weddin dinner...so full...so contented...hahas...!dinner was at Carlton Hotel....beside national lib and opp Chijmes...it had a great ballroom...and the ambience was too gd to be true...hahahs...!

saw the video made by linda's friends which showed both linda & zhihong's childhood photos and how they met and their amazin love story...man..it was so sweet...watched it in awe...the video was very well produced...hahas...after the dinner...my uncs brought mi to Insomia...a bar in Chijmes for a drink...well...mum allowed mi to go after unc jerry promised to bring mi home safely b4 2...hahas...!so spent the nxt 1 hr dere...and my uncs were all tokin bout my future and stuff..hahs...so pressurisin man...lols...

well...on the way home in unc jerry's car...pondered bout lotsa stuff...wif the raindrops splatterin on the car's windshield, i started to wonder how my weddin will be like...hahas...guess its a bit too early for tis...but its always better to be prepared i guess...hhahs...man...words started to flow into my thoughts durin the ride home...guess it wun be long before the nxt poem is out...hahhas!!

lastly...to all the couples out dere...cherish ur other half and live like there's no tomorroW...!

gees...had a crazy wkend...so much to tok about...but guess i m just too lazy to type it all down..

aniwae to make the story short...spent a great fridae :)...had a crazy countdown style on saturday...had fun at lik hse on sundae...and well...fell sick on sundae nite...fever and diarrheoa...it was terrible...but still enjoyed much of the wkend...hahas..

gotta elaborate more on the crazy countdown on sat...its for chanz...that crazy guy...well...to avoid all the sprayin and the messy countdown crowd at esplanade, mi elroy n chanz decided to walk bac to the cityhall station to go lik's hse...we also planned to countdown in the train...hahhs...so at 11.59pm...we were in between the bishan n toa payoh station...we counted down with chanz bein the loudest and he shouted HAPPY NEW YEAR so LOud that i tink the last cabin could hear him...hahahs...aniwae..tot that was crazy enough??no...he went out of the train when we reached amk station and shouted out to all the ppl dere a happy new year...hahhahs....man...it was so embarrasin...still...its the new year..we r suppose to enjoy ourselves...!!so credits to chanz for makin the first day of 2006 a memorable one for mi...hahhas..!

sch gona start in approximately 7 n a half hour...so i guess i shuld stop n go hav my rest...been slpin the whole day though...felt like a pig...hahas..!aniwae oiNk oinK...(bye bye) :p

haPpy 44th biRthDAe MUMMY~

woo...jus had a birthdae celebration for my mum...i wished for her to stay healthy and beautiful always...my sisters and i gave her a diamond necklace...!!!i won't reveal the price...its up for u guys to guess...well...my eldest sis paid the lion's share...hahahs..!

can't wait for the countdown at mount faber...hope we greet the arrival of 2006 wif pure esctasy....!!